Welcome to my morning of jumbled thoughts!
Forgive me, we were up early with a vomiting child...again. He is currently complaining of a tummyache, although he has not thrown up yet again since the first round.
Here is the difference between Jackson and Rebecca:
"Jackson, what happened?"
"My tummy felt all rumbly and then I barfed on my bed and then I came to your room and got you...can you put the bucket closer to me, please?"
"Rebecca, what happened?"
"My tummy huuuuuurt..."
"Rebecca, do you need to throw up?"
(Shakes head) "No..." (Throws up all over self, floor, and nowhere close to bucket).
But what I really have on my brain this morning is sin, legalism, and morality. Yikes. I will tell you why:
I sinned in my attitude and behavior recently and felt so justified in my anger...which gave away to sorrow over my sin and an overwhelming desire to repent. Here is the Holy Spirit at work, praise God. I would love to just sit in a dark corner with a pot of coffee and really unhealthy flavored creamer, stewing over this perceived affront to me. But I repented. And I was mulling over the reason for my response, where the sin was coming from. As I thought about the recesses of my dark heart, I asked the Lord, "How is it possible that you can forgive me for this? Just my thoughts are so very ugly!" And I realized-
It hits me every so often. I read the Gospels and follow the events of the Crucifixion. I sometimes think a little deeper on the reason for the cross and the sin of the world that Christ died for. But when the true Gospel really becomes real to me is when I ponder my own sin. How can He forgive me? He already has. "It is finished." It makes the sun a little warmer, the sky a little brighter, the barf a little less disgusting. What a gift, what a Savior!