Humility

We are reading Mahaney's Humility: True Greatness for our small group Bible study and I have been thinking a lot about a quote from the book, crediting Spurgeon:

"I believe in the doctrine of election, because I am quite certain that, if God had not chosen me, I should never have chosen Him; and I am sure He chose me before I was born, or else He never would have chosen me afterwards; and He must have elected me for reasons unknown to me, for I never could find any reason in myself why He should have looked upon me with special love." (p.103)

If I am being honest with myself (yuck), then I would think of a thousand reasons why I think I should be looked upon with His special love. Is that not our curse? To think subconsciously or overtly that we can contend for supremacy with God? He laughs. Wretched sinner.

It is by the grace of a holy and righteous Father that I even recognize when I am trying to vie with God for power over my life. This usually manifests itself in pride by my attitude towards others. I want my husband to think I am the best. I want my children to think I am the best, and my family and friends as well. He gently chides me and shows me my error. Humility, it seems, is cultivated in the heart. My brain shirks humility. My body sets up barriers to protect humility from invading. Both entities war with my heart for dominance. It is only through the Lord Jesus Christ, who has already paid my debt and graciously allowed the Holy Spirit to dwell in my deceitful and desperately wicked heart, that I can even recognize when I am giving in to this sin of sins- pride. It is my prayer that my recognition of pride only increases day by day. May my heart get softer and not harder.